The truth about relationships is not surface level or obvious. It is very deep, which is unsurprising when you consider how complex the human psyche is.
We like to latch on to surface reasons why relationships are not working or why people are the way they are, but it’s often not the truth.
The ego part of us LOVES to latch on to the ‘logic’ we arrive at, after endlessly churning scenarios over in our mind, particularly if it justifies our behaviour, makes us feel like we are ‘right’ or reassures us that we are a good person….which will all be subjective to our individual conditioning and filter.
The truth is, when we have clashes or issues with people or when relationships are not working out in the way we want them to or if they are causing us pain, it is because there is something unresolved within ourselves that we are projecting onto the other person.
Shock horror, it’s hard to get the logical mind around but when you go deeper, it’s so very true. It doesn’t make us ‘bad’ and it happens a lot! Understanding this can be liberating.
We can’t blame ourselves for doing this, it is perfectly normal. We can’t blame ourselves for anything that we are not fully conscious of, and blame is low frequency so we don’t want that in our energy system.
The irony with human behaviour is that we often subconsciously drive ourselves towards the very thing / outcome that we consciously do not want. Bonkers isn’t it?!
What is this unresolved part of ourselves then….?!?!
It is something we need to know about (but only when we are ready to do the work and take responsibility for it) because when we heal this….we heal relationships and change our lives for the better.
We then also change who and what we attract into our lives. This is magical!!
The unresolved part of us is in the shadow and it will be unique to you in terms of its particular flavour but not unique in terms of it happening, because I see these patterns all the time in my work.
There is a lesson for us in every person that we have a relationship of any sorts with.
The reason we meet the people we do, is so that something can be reflected back to us. It is very difficult for most people to see exactly what this is, without the assistance of a professional or if you are blocked from the truth.
If you continue to encounter similar types of people or you notice there are some common traits in the people you have relationships with, this is a profound message and things will only change (if you want them to) when the deeper meanings are addressed.
The relationships we have with others is indeed a reflection of the relationship we have with ourselves…but not with our conscious selves, that would be too easy! It is what is buried in the subconscious and unconscious mind. None of it is bad, it is all there to be embraced and liberated so that we can feel whole and live a better life.
Interested in learning more about yourself and your relationships and healing any patterns in your life for the purpose of transformation?
I hold a supportive and empowering space of absolute compassion, confidentiality and non-judgement for this type of work, turns out, has become one of my specialities.
If you like my style, get in touch re my 121 work, happy to have an informal chat.
Good Vibes, Amanda Green