Reflecting on Relationships

Mercury Retrograde: Reflections & Relationships!

Last week I was fortunate to be in Malaga with my family (Dave, Marianne & Amelie).

I enjoy having a break, making time for family, for myself & having a change of scene.

It’s all too easy to exist on auto pilot, but it’s not so good for the soul.

I am also committed to reflective practice;

for the continuous development of my emotional intelligence, self-awareness & understanding.

I don’t shy away from working on myself, even when it’s icky (pass the long vets gloves please)! 😀

We are about three quarters of the way through a Mercury Retrograde,

essentially this is an invitation to take time out / slow down & make time for reflection.

Each Mercury Retrograde has a theme or a flavour, so to speak.

This one is about relationships & therefore also how you feel about yourself.

‘The WE and the ME’ if you like.

How we feel about ourselves is connected to the relationships we have attracted into our lives, because they act as a mirror.

We do not meet people by accident!

That I have come to know. It is by design.

We attract people into our lives so that we can learn about ourselves.

It is not always a conscious choice, because there are deeper energies at play.

Our soul has chosen to learn certain things in this lifetime.

You will know this deep down, because you will see patterns that have played out in your life over the years.

How do we know when we have broken a pattern?

When we begin to react differently / make different choices in similar circumstances.

How does this happen?

Because we begin to change our beliefs about ourselves.

Relationships are the biggest catalyst to our growth.

They are the mirrors to the beliefs we hold.

This current energy may invite you to consider what lessons you have learned / are yet to learn about yourself due to the people you have interacted with or had / have relationships with.

It might ask you to think about how people have treated you or how you have allowed them to treat you (same thing right, no blame or shame here though please).

There will likely be a mixture.

Sometimes you meet an earth angel, seemingly sent to you in divine timing to share anything from a sentence you needed to hear to years of love & support.

Just for the record, there is also no mistake as to the pets and animals we have. 😉

Some people are joyous gifts!

They come into our lives for a short time or a long time, they lift our spirits & reflect the good parts of ourselves back to us.

Others bring challenges!

In the form of situations we would rather avoid.

Conversations we would prefer not to have.

Feelings we don’t like to feel!

They demand that we find the warrior within!

Ideally the zen warrior…but let’s be realistic, that is not always how sh!t goes down!

This is something to work towards as it is really an enlightened state that most people have not reached, and the ones who think they have are often deluded, so please don’t feel bad, we are emotional creatures after all!

These interactions trigger us, they can poke our inner wounds & the parts of ourselves that have not yet healed.

But all these interactions are to help us grow into the person we are meant to become.

All are designed to help us heal and open our hearts further to our own truth & sovereignty.

If we can do the inner work and learn from our experiences,

then we can become clear about the type of people we wish to attract into our life.

We can grow beyond the limiting beliefs & patterns of behaviour that attracted that type of person in the first place.

Without the healing and the lessons, the cycle will often rinse and repeat.

Know your values, know your OWN value and worth and what you are prepared to tolerate.

I speak from experience.

I am an empath.

I am a giver.

I don’t give to receive, I just love giving, it makes me happy to see other people happy.

But I discovered a downside to this…

…there are people who are dominantly takers!

One of the biggest lessons I have had to learn is discernment.

I wear my heart on my sleeve & for a long time, I thought other people were the same.

I thought other people said what they actually meant – go figure! 😀 😀

Eeeeek, I had some tough lessons over the decades!

But I have learned them, and I am grateful for how these experiences have shaped me.

I am also grateful for having the courage to see the truth and do the work on myself and you should be too! Appreciate yourself.

It has been tricky because I am a psychic empath, in short, I can read people’s energy, but I didn’t know I could do this for a long time.

I understand now that this is a gift but before I understood this, it often felt awful!

I can feel into a person’s belief system and their emotions and pick up their fears, in the form of insecurity, lack & limitation;

essentially where they don’t feel good enough, their pain points and old wounds.

I can read what lives behind the mask they wear and the persona they portray to others including their intentions.

Some people will frequently tell you the story they want you to hear / the version of themselves they wish to sell you and for you to repeat.

In fact, one of the classic signs of this is people who talk the most about themselves.

They often have an entourage who parrot the exact same phrases they have heard so often!

Typically, they have very little self-awareness & low self-esteem, have done no work on themselves at any depth, so they compensate by informing you of / broadcasting their greatness.

Think Wizard of Oz – the frightened person behind the curtain using a microphone.

Many empaths actually have the opposite challenge to this;

they find it difficult to accept & own their greatness and to shine their light.

They might worry about sounding big headed or ‘showing off’ and can feel uncomfortable being the centre of attention.

There is a beautiful balance to strike.

I understand why people behave the way they do, often I understand people more than they understand themselves.

Although with my clients, my intention is always to empower them to know & trust themselves more than anyone else, myself included.

So, this tends to mean, as with most empaths of course, hence the name – that I have a high degree of empathy & compassion for others.

One of the major lessons I have had to learn, and the challenge that lives alongside this quality, is to feel the compassion & love for people on a soul level BUT also to practice discernment on the practical level.

Because when you are a giver, who gives for the love of giving, without the need to receive, you can attract takers!

There are some people who will just take and take until we cut off the supply!

If you are reading this, that is unlikely to be you!

You would more likely be someone who would be more likely to worry that someone would think you were a taker. Takers don’t worry about that!

There are also some people who think (I would even go so far as to say they are convinced!) they are a giver, giving of the goodness of their heart, when really, they are giving to receive.

They are ‘banking’ every ‘transaction’ so to speak.

They do not forget what they have given and are frequently disappointed when it is not reciprocated.

They do take it personally.

This is because they have a wound to heal inside.

Their belief is that they are not really going to receive the love (because that’s what it boils down to) that they give out and so they subconsciously block it.

I can also read pure heart energy in people who have so much goodness to share, and the most positive and pure intentions.

I can literally feel my insides glow in the presence of these people, of which I am grateful to say, I know many!!

It is rare that I have issues with anyone, because overall I am a reasonable & fair person.

I enjoy getting along with people and being positive with others.

I can let stuff go, I don’t take things personally these days.

I recognise we all make mistakes and for most people, they don’t have negative intentions.

I am not a hot head and I value integrity, kindness & community. I wish the best for people & I love laughing.

However, there have been a few people who have crossed the line over the years, they made the biggest error with me;

which is to mistake my kindness for a weakness!

They also helped me, to learn the balance between compassion & discernment.

If you take some time to look back at the relationships in your life, including the ones you are experiencing currently,

What great lessons do you feel you have learned?

How have you looked within and grow from your experiences?

Are you valuing yourself as you move forward?

Who do you wish to become, because if you can imagine it, you can achieve it, but you must embody it, rather than simply try to convince yourself of it.

When we work on ourselves, we will see the results reflected in the people we meet.

It is very common for empaths to have significant life lessons in the form of challenges, through their relationships (personal and / or professional), sometimes very painful.

It is not always the case, but they can be subject to navigating situations with people who attempt to bully, overpower or take from them.

Think of ‘take’ in terms of energy, power, attention, love and time, as well as practical and tangible things.

Please, please do not allow these experiences to shut down your beautiful heart!

Recognise that as a force of good in this world (empaths bring light!!) you must honour yourself and not allow anybody to cast a shadow over your brightness.

These lessons all have a purpose.

For you to become a beacon of integrity, have the courage of your own conviction and to love and honour yourself unconditionally.

To keep your vibration high, you must do the work to release any negativity and traces of bitterness, blame or resentment.

That poison does not belong to you.

But we must feel it to heal it! We have to let go fully before we can move forward.

Compassion, discernment, forgiveness, self-love & patience are valuable here.

If you can relate to this and you would like to make sense of the past, break the cycle and honour your future path, then it would be my pleasure to be your guide.

For 121 coaching options and availability, please check out my calendar at www.amandagreencoaching.co.uk or directly here: https://calendly.com/agsq

Good Vibes, Amanda G